Nothing Feels like Normal sey

It just does not feels the way I use to. I now barely talk to Farah. I try not to see or maybe even not trying to talking to her in school. Instead I call her sometimes. And we do talk, but not like dulu sey. Not NORMAL anymore. Yesterday she talked to me but I never look at her anymore sey. She ask me why I never look at her, then I say I dunnoe why now I cant look at you like before. Somebody tell me why. Now also I am just her Hello-Goodbyefriend sey in school. I dunnoe. Bella U jgn tag pat blog Farah lagi kays. Just DONT!! Arghh!! Da lah I dont want to judge anybody anymorew. Farah if u need me, I am here. I noe u dnt need me that badly anymore. haiz~ apeapelah!! dah.

Barney.
Beers&Boots
Bye!


Reunion

Lying on my bed because could not sleep. Thinking about a reunion on sat for our P.P.B Army. Yup. yesterday was an unexpecting reunion. Luqman, Yan, and Ashraf came back. haha. Superly unexpected sey. After training, lepak bwh block. Introduced ourself to Fatin (Marsyah) & Zulaikha. Hehe. Yes we learned BATIN PUTIH (hajat) by Cik ManMan. Wow super giler sak. Must follow carefully lah. If not tk jadi. Seram tau. According to Cik ManMan. U also can fly. Haha. Alot of things you can learn if u join kumpulan TIUPAN MANMAN. Haha. anything just beep him and he will lead u into the world of BATINs!!! Hahahahahaha. k Bye

Bye Geng!!
Fuck Matreps!!
Oi!
Cheers&Beers


Yahoooo!!! Everything's back to NORMAL I guess.

Hahaha. Yup everything is back to normal. I guess. Yah Farah finally talked to me back. She approached me on the morning of Friday before assembly. I salam-ed every one den I saw Farah looking at me. So i just give a light smile. Den I sat somewhere else. She came up to me and ask me if i was ok anot. But ofcourse i was not. I was soo sad sey. Den she ask me why i cannot pandang her anymore. I said lah i sedih. Farah den told me not to be sad. But how?

During History lesson I & Fatz got second highest in class and we earned ourself a Toblerone choc. After school Farah wanted to meet me so I gave her my choc lah. Haha. Cute tk?? Haha. Hehe. Nvm lah. Still got LOADS more things that i am keeping from her. Haahaha. N i am not giving u ah. I'll just find the right time lah. But i hope it will remain like tis lah. Dunnoe whats commin up in the future. Who knows?? Haha. *winks

Barney.
Oi!Oi!Oi!
Cheers&Beers

Labels: finally back

Weirdest Dream

Hey peeps. Erm, recently talk to Farah but still nothing feels like before. Looking at her just makes me feel sad. Argh!! I just feel empty inside sey. Lots of things are running true my mind now. Farah n my results. My results sucks. Gotten a lecture for my parents last two days. It just sucks. They are tired talking to me everytime i fail. Mom told me to change my "tk kisah" attitude which i admit i have. Lagi this year N-Level. Haiyah!!

I wanna change things. I really want to change things. But its all in me. Arghh. This just sucks. I wanna the change my attitude n my friendship with Farah. BoHooo!! I just feel like crying seh. Yayang, tkpe jgn tlng. Terima Kasih. THanks. I appreciate but what for if u like the person n that person dose'nt like you rite? She admitted she was'nt my bestfriend. She acctually dont know that I really treat her with all my heart sey. Arghhh!!! Tkpe lah.

The most weiderst dream happen last nite. I dreamt of Farah, Syafie, Arif n me. I dreamt that she layan us three. But not that normal layan sey. Layan more then a friend type. Evrything seems ok in the dream. No jealousy, no fights. Arghh!! I wish it was like that ah. But ofcourse Farah MUST layan Ariff more lah. Ah! Its only a dream but I really take it to the heart.

I dunnoe what to do. I think about you when i'm down but i'm sad because of you that I loose. I also dont want you to do anything. Maybe just go to other people now which u have. Everything i say, mesti u ada benda nk ckp alek. How are we gonna solve it? Nvm.4get me lah. Its just the solution. We just go our seperate ways lah. It may be difficult for me to leave you but maybe its the rite thing.


Barney ='(
Seperti Waktu Dahulu!
I'll Leave u lah!
Cheers&Beers.



For you especially & to My peeps out there

Tonight I met a new friend
As kind and caring as one can be
There was a special way about her
She became a comfort to me
I haven't the words to describe her
I guess unique and understanding is she

But I do know that in a brief moment
She became a comfort to me
I've no idea where this friendship will goOr if it has already come to an end
I only know that in my heart
You will always be my friend
Always remember how very special you are
How you make the world a better place to be

At least you did for me that night
You became a comfort to meIt doesn't matter if I ever see you again
For it's in my heart your memory runs free
When I need to I can stop and think of you
And once again you're a comfort to me

This is what i think of in our FRIENSHIP. To me your special!!


This Suck Man!!

Why is this happening. Argh!! Yesterday actually wanted to go to Farah's game but was too busy working for mom. Mom had just oppened a WESTERN FOOD stall at Expo. Those who know me and if you come to my stall, mom will give you a special price. Yah. Anyway, I really wanted to go to the match sey but I have to FUCKIN work. Arghh! Actually i want to pass something to Farah. But eventually not. Supposed to go out with yayang but she got ngaji. ArGHHH!!

Today woke up to an empty house. Hvn't eat yet. Online, then Farah chat to me for awhile then "BOOM" i blew my top again. But I shall not show or i'll HURT SOMEONE AGAIN!!! WTF. Argh!! its not difficult to say sorry to that person but I think if i say sorry it dosen't come from the bottom of my heart. So yah. No point. Today going to City Hall n be with my maytes. I hope Hezra is there again to be beside me again. Now I have no one but her. I know she will help me. Thnx Kak. Cheers mayte.

Bye.
Cheers&Beers.
"I said sorry to you already"
Let it be.




I just can'nt get YOU out of my mind

I just can not get you of my mind. I just can not. Now no one is beside me to hear my problems. I regret creating all this. I just can not. HELP!! I regret, I just regret. Why did I create this mess. Why? I dunnoe lah. I just want to cry sak. WHAT THE FUCK!! I regret hurting you. Maybe its true. I am self-centered. Yah. All the words you reffered to me is true. Why must I be like this. Why? I dunnoe. I swear I dunnoe. I dunnoe if we will be like before if we were together back. Is not easy to let you off like that. Everynite, I read ur messages which hurt me too. Why must it be like this. Why? I regret. I swear I regret. If you were to accept me back, will it be like before? God knows. God knows. Yah. Its true. I am self-centerd. But how am I gonna change myself? Its just me. How the FUCK am i gonna change. Fuckin FRUSTRATED. Fuckin FRUSTRATED. I hate pretending. Pretending that I already lost you. I just hate it. I am just SORRY. I dont know. I dont want to loose you. Thats why i say sorry. I Loose! I give in! ArgH!!!


Barney =(
All Alone.
Cheers&Beers

Good luck for your game 2morrow. I'll pray you win!!


Why must this happen?

Why must this happen? I just woke up from bed asking myself this question. I just can't seem to close my eyes for the past few nights thinking about this problem. Well yah, YOU rite, just seem to enjoy i see. But I am stuck down here dont know what to do. :'( I wish Bella could just understand and help me. Haiz~ Yah if anyone is offended by the past few post, I am soo SORRY. Yes. SORRY. Even you!

I thought that last year was the last year that this things would have happen. But eventually not. Thinking of studying for this HOLIDAY but I just can't seem to concentrate. Why? Why? Yes why? I know i am blinded by my jealousy. Yes I know. For me to keep that jealousy is difficult. Sooner or later it will confirm explode out. Might as well I be honest then to pretend that I am actually okay right? i dunnoe bout you lah. I seem to be loosing this battle. What a loser. Hahks. Not to be ofended ah, but you got them to teman you right? Hah. Good for you lah.

I think for the next few post its gonna be EMOSHIT. So Brace urself. (MCM PAHAM). I think is true after all that I loose you 1day. Maybe to you its me who wanted to leave you. Yah. I dunnoe lah. && I am not proud telling the whole world that we fought. NO! NO! Its calling asking for help. I am all alone here. Can't you see? huh? I'am not out to hurt people too okays? Barney is a friendly purple dinosaur. Hah. Yah but seriously i am not out to hurt people. Serious. Its just my nature to blow off my steam. yah. Sometimes i want to ask god why am i born like this. But if you would think back rite, people around you are born with different personality. And this just makes the world go round.

I dunnoe. I dunnoe. I dunnoe. I dunnoe. I dunnoe. Alot of people told me to forget bout you. But do they even think how much you mean to me? They just don't know how close we are untill this happen. Its just difficult. Its supper difficult. & i know u dont care bout me already, but i still do aites? :) Yah now i know how you feel. Doing stupid stuffs also just brings me no where. Go on with life??? How??? Can some one lead me there?? After this thing happen rite people, I feel that suddenly i am all alone. All alone. But so called i started the fight so its up to me to handle this by myself. BY MYSELF. Anyway thnks Syafie n Gang for your concern but dont do it for me n hurt HER. DOnt. Its just between me and HER. Syaf just dont hurt her. Who knows she will be ur next bestfriend. Who knows right?



Bye.
THank you.
Cheers&Beers.


LEAVE YOU ALONE!

Ok then. I'll leave u alome then. Ok fine. Aites. Its not an easy task but its seems as if i can do it. Yah. Dont worry. I'll leave you. Cry on their shoulder. Go! Now you got new FRIENDS already. GO for all i care. No point saying everything. Want to clear things out, but just seems FUCKING difficult. I know you dont even care already. Yah. I understand. A fight where never comes to an end. Yah people reading out there, if you are always fighting n saying sorry right, NO POINT. GO AND FIGHT FOR ONCE AND SETTLE IT ALL. Settle things out. No use I pretending infrnt of you and saying sorry not from the heart. FUCK!!

BArns.
Just seems more complicated.
Cheers&Beers


JEALOUSY

Getting urself into jealousy fights just lead you to a dead end. Its not those normal fights where each other can say sorry and everything will be fine. No. Its not like that. In jealousy, it will always be inside your mind. Haish~ Just woke up on a Monday morning. Vomitted and then had a hangover from yesterday over drinking. Thank you guys for being here. Now i've got my back turned on you guys. & i tell you guys first, dont you come up to me and asking what happened. I swear. & I will bloddy swear i am goin to punch you. Haha.

Now you people have someone on your side and SHE is gonna help you. Haha. WHAT THE FUCK!! Every word that i say just seems to hurt you. So what else can i say? Your outa words to am i right? How? You are now on thier side, making them ur bestfriend now?? Go ahead. I also dont give a FUCK. I still got my maytes who will never ever, turned thier FUCKING backs on me. FUCKING backstabber. (Thats what i think bout you ah.) Wakaka. I regret LAUGHING at your FUCKING FACE!! I'll take that back. FUCK YOU! haha. You now have a new, happy buch of FUCKING friends who can dam FUCKING cheer YOU up. Am i rite? haha. Yah, go and befriend with them. HEY!! its your life rite?

Bout Me
Ok. Ok. I got my profile on my left hand side of my blog but, i still got lots more to tell you!

1) I am VERY SELFISH when it comes to friends.
2) I am a JEALOUS guy.
3) HATE people who critise me behind my FUCKING back.
4) hate people WHO TURNED THEIR BACK on me.
5) hate people who tells me MY MISTAKES.
6) hate people who reffers TO THE PAST.
7) hate people who tells me what to do.
etc...

This is what i can think of now. Anyway, above are the things that are reffered to you but not to me. Understand?? haha.

Those people who think they had been offended rite? Just look in the miror and say FUCK YOU!! haha. Enjoy ya!

FUCKED UP BARNEY!!
TURNED THEIR BACK?
BEERS&BOOTS
FUCK YOU?


Sorry! :'(

Sorry for what i did. Bad of me to make people cry. On Friday, in the morning, Farah went up to me and tried talking to me. To her sadness, I did'nt even say a singgle word she say. After school, she tried but I still did'nt talk. At 6.30 after training, Farah was sick of me and went up to me to cry on me. Everyone looked in shocked. Its acctually my fault but she eventually appologised n broked dwn in tears. I was so upset with myself. After that I thought it was over, but it just did not end there. At kedai kopi central, i sort things because of something. First time I made somebody cry that bad. Her eyes turned red, n I mean SUPER RED. Argghh!! But, it all ended with a smile on the Face. Sorry Farah.

Saturday, returned from City Hall after I sat with SKINS at The Adelphi. I reached silat at 8. When i came Bella had not arrived, after afew mins she arrived. She never silat sey. Haha. Jahat-jahat!! Then went to shop with Her. Sat under the block n talked for awile. Talked until she frowned, went back to give Lojiee air. But she still kept saying nothing after I asked her on&on again. Which really made me worried. Then we went somewhere to talked again. Eventually she cried. I forced her to cry because her face just shows me that she is keeping all her feelings inside. I hugged her thightly n tell her I love her. Yah but again, it ended with a smile. Sorry Harry! I did not meant it.

Yah. People, after reading this right, you just dont labbel me 'JAHAT' or anything. Just wanna say SORRY,SUPER SORRY. TO Yayang n Farah. I really did not meant to make u cry. No matter what, I wont ever make both of you cry ever again. I swear. Love both of you. Bye. Love Barns


Love Barney.
Sorry Yayang & Farah
Young ,Loud&Proud
Pride of the Adelphi!


Oi! Oi! Oi!

Hello my maytes! I actually wanted to update on Monday, but was too buszy with things in school. Havin gigs n test. Arghh!! I just got back my physics test n guest how much I got? Guest upon 30 how much did I get? Ahaha... If ur guesed 5, it was right. Ya 5/30. It was super HORRENDOUS!!! I just dont learnt my ****in lesson. Da bnyak test fail pon tak blajar-blajar. Haiz~ Dekat board skola letak besar-besar 190 days. Itu pon tkda orng kisah. I think I have to pull my socks in order to make it to sec 5. But its just difficult because of distractions around me. This week has also been a HECTIC week. Argued alot. Just argued with Farah n had not been talking to her for 2days now. My life just turned silent after arguing with her. U peeps just dont want to know why i argued with her. Aghh!! che***. Nvm lah, she has already a big group of better friends to layan. You look ah. Just wanted to update you guys bout the outing on Sunday but... I just dnt feel like it after talking bout this. Haiz~ Just feel like no point living but just have to go on with life and enjoy it. My phone did'nt rang or vibrated like always. Its just a qiuet world. I know fitting with her was the wrong move but sometimes i have to ah. Arghhh!!!!!!! Yah just forget bout it. Still do love her as my bestfriend but saying sorry is just not rite for me nor her. Just let it be. Anyway, Lojiee just left for camp this morning n will be back on Sat afternoon while mama n papa are leaving tomorow to KL to check on our house down there. Friday after ncc i'll go back to an empty house. Just wish i had FARAH to talk to. Just miss her lah. Yah tats all for my post today.
* You people just enjoy life aites. Enjoy life to the fullest!! Dont let anything overcome you. You know why? YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE



Barney the Skinhead
Enjoy life.
Beers & Boots
Cheers!!